Vintage Home Furniture

Unique, old world, charming, curious???? I'm redecorating my home, and am always on the look-out for unusual items . . . . any type - from accessories to furniture. My tastes lean toward "old world" and primitive items, I collect old wallclocks, and don't mind reproductions. I love to go to garage/estate sales and flea markets to hunt for decorative items. I live in Plano, TX and would like to find local stores as well as great websites. Please share your treasured shops - I would much appreciate!

Our family room is quite large, & is in the basement.? It has: 2 windows (lots of light),that have white, pleated fabric shades. Ceiling is brocaded white... Walls are a very, very light, taup/pinky color....2 support poles in the center of the room, that are gyprocked and square....Carpet & glue have been stripped off the cement. I would like to do a distressed, or old look, on the walls... a "Fibre Wall" product, on the square support columms, to round them & make them look rough, and rustic.... Paint the floor to look like big rock, marble, or ceramic tile...Windows leave the pleater shades,& drape, unfinished muslin fabric, onto the floor. Trim..?? What colors, different treatments, and How To'S, for the floor, support poles, windows, walls, and trim, would you suggest, to give it an old world or rustic charm? Furniture Colors and Accessories Burgundy/wine colored leather couch and loveseat. Other couch done in tapestry with large leaf patern, predominant color is taupe & dark green, with smaller amounts of a darker taupe,burgundy,aqua

ok third times a charm help pls!!!!? im 14 and im moving frm my old room to the downstairs guest room i am allowed to deecorate any way i wasnt and i want to do a starbucks/cafe/bistro theme for my room. i am looking for good paint ideas links to some good furniture my accent wall is a light blue frm the inside of most starbucks coffee houses and links would be great. some furniture ideas i had in mind was wrought iron furniture an over stuffed armchair pictures for the wall any links to anything you thinhk goes with this theme pls help and it could be an easy 10 points if i find what im looking for. if you go to the questions ive asked before there are two othere of this question, the starbucks themed room and you can check out some of the links there. i got some good ideas from those answers but i am looking for some really great design advice thanks so much laytah** also keeping it a little within a budget would help. maybe some furniture frm ikea b.c its kinda cheap. i just got a bed for x-mas so keep cheap

What every Women Should Have that is the question? A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... one old love she can imagine going back to... and one who reminds her how far she has come... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a youth she's content to leave behind.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a feeling of control over her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... HOW TO QUIT A JOB, BREAK UP WITH A LOVER, AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

plz. help me to write the main idea of this article in the NY Times. in two pages.?

every single rat word ever!? A Aeratted: Said of a garment that has acquired so many chewed holes as to now be considered summer attire. Alphamosity: The rampant animosity exhibited by alphas when they meet new rats. Alpha Romeo: A dominant buck who has the style, performance and speed to reach the girl rat cage before his owner realises he's escaped. Aquafrenzy: A fit of uncontrollable terror involving anatomically inconceivable twisting and writhing, ear piercing screeching and maniacal claw shredding exerted by a rat who dislikes baths. Aromatherapee: An ancient technique by which rats can turn their pee into various odors pleasing to their rat loving humans, such as cinnamon muffins and warm corn chips. (see also Furomatherapy, Peeterent and Peeseekery) Awra: The luminous air about a ratty due to his whiskers and soft furriness, that when seen in the light causes an involuntary "Awwwwwwwww...." from the viewer. B Bacupuncture: An alternative healing method performed by rats who use their claws to cling to the area between your shoulder blades where you cannot remove them without assistance. Berko: Describes a person who is fanatically crazy about rats with white bellies. Boggling: The creepily charming ability of rats to bulge their eyeballs out of their sockets and vibrate them when particularly happy or content. BooBoolean Command: The phenomenon where your rat decides to play on your computer keyboard while you're using google, and you end up searching for "sllllvmmbkppf34-0--34rjse'39ksp;;;;;;;;;", with no website results found. Bouquet de Buck: the rich studly aroma of musky male rat, with overtones of corn tortilla, spicy cinnamon and a subtle hint of pee. Mmmmmm. (see also Eau de Doe) Brusking: The irresistible performance of a hungry rat, begging and eye boggling for yogurt drops. Bruxing: The complete ratty repertoire involving fooffing of air, chattering and grinding of teeth, and bulging eye boggling that indicates a happy or contented rat. (see also Boggling and Fooffery) Bruxtaposition: The condition of having a happy rat sit next to you on the sof Buck grease: The orange oily dandruffy gunk that overly hormonal boy rats sometimes get on their backs. Bucksome: Healthily plump and ample of male rat rump. Bucktion: The irresistible force that attracts people to big, lazy, squishy male rats. Buckwurst: Descriptive term for a lazy old male rat who enjoys his food so much that he resembles a large furry Germanic sausage. Bumbleball: Unfortunate affliction caused by the friction of continued dragging of large testicles over everything. Bummer: The phrase often exclaimed when a rat wipes his/her squishy raisins all over you. C Cage fright: The instantaneous horror that you feel when you're sitting at your desk at work and the realisation dawns on you that you've left the rat cage door open at home. Chewelry: Personal adornments that have been improved by artistic rattie designers. Claustrophrenia: The frenetic madness exhibited by rats who, having spent the entire day happily abiding in their ample cage, suddenly find the space utterly unbearable. The resulting conniptions are often triggered by a delay in their normal daily scheduled out time, or observation of another rat getting free range time before them. Claw warning: A simple request to our rats to yell "I'm coming!" before they leap onto our bare flesh with claws outstretched... rather than leaping first, scaring the bejeezus out of us, and then announcing cheerfully "I'm here!". Clawdacity: The intrepid boldness with which rats recklessly climb your bare skin with complete disregard to your comfort or screams of protest. Corn grooming: The systematic repetitive linear grooming pattern rats often apply to their cagemates, which is reminiscent of eating a cob of corn. Crammock: The term given to a hammock straining to support more rats than it's structurally capable of holding. Cross Scritch: A crafty technique requiring the skill of petting two rats at once on different sides of your lap. Curtailer: A person harboring the completely unfounded, ignorant belief that rat tails are cold, scaly and horrible and they'd be better off without them. D Dampressionism: An artistic style of watercolour painting involving the use of one's tail as a pee paintbrush. Dawnfall: The sudden degenerative state within your rat cage should you accidentally sleep in past your rats' usual morning free range time. Demarkation: The act of removing alpha rat pee from throughout your house. Deturdant: The latest miracle cleaning product on the market for removing rat raisins stuck on your furniture, carpet, clothes, curtains, pillow case, bath towels, etc. Drive-by grooming: A heartless crime whereby an alpha rat will stride up to an innocent bystander, furiously groom the victim's head, and then continue on his way as though nothing happened. Dropsy: A hyperactivity disorder in rats caused by eating way too many sugary yogurt treats. E Eau de Doe: That irresistibly tantalising scent that sends bucks wild with passionate distraction. (see also Bouquet de Buck) Exherbitionist: A rat who has a compulsive desire to draw attention to itself by digging up pot plants. Exvermination: The act of removing all traces of your pet rats from view when your landlord is about to visit. F Fibervore: An animal that grazes on socks, your favourite t-shirt, carpet, sofa cushions and other soft furnishings. Flash Animation: The blind frenzy a rat goes into when unexpectedly subjected to a camera lighting system. (see also Vampire Rat) NEW! Fluffy Fund: A rat health insurance plan that involves keeping an extra layer of squish on a rat to provide a buffer in case of illness. Fooffery: The impressive array of cheerful noises a rat will make when excited, specifically involving puffing air in and out of the mouth rapidly. (see also Bruxing and Boggling) Furabdophile: A person with an inexplicable and irresistible attraction to rat bellies, and is unrepentant in their need to kiss every soft fuzzy one they encounter. Furgiveness: The amazing ability rats have to be forgiven for anything just because they're cute and furry. Furomatherapy: The joy and peace one gets from sticking one's nose into rat fur and inhaling deeply. Fuzzbutt: An endearing nickname for your furry loved ones; also the image of a rat usually recorded by photographic film. Fuzzlet: An affectionate name for a young rat, along with ratlet, ratling, kitten, ritten, pup, etc. G Gnawtification: A formal indication that your rat was here. Groominate: To subconsciously and incessantly clean oneself while pondering life and the universe. Grottofication: The satisfaction one derives from providing their ratties with an extra large, fun, clean, safe place to live. H Heat wave: The courtship process whereby a female rat wiggles her ears at a potential male across the room. Hell raisin': When your rat causes trouble by depositing a wet, squishy smelly poop then steps in it and proceeds to drag it all over the house. Homo norvegicus: A species of rat that thinks it's human (e.g. Homo norvegicus nimbii) Honing stone: The rock or paver placed in a rat cage for the express purpose of keeping rat claws blunt, which is secretly utilised by the rats as a honing tool for precision sharpness. I Ickspression: The emphatic body language exhibited by a rat when fed something that tastes icky, usually observed as frantic chin rubbing along the floor. Intolerodent: Said of a pitiful person who has an irrational, unreasonable and completely unfounded dislike of rats. J Jackhammer snout: a pneumatically operated power-sniffing tool used to extract even the smallest wisp of scent from surfaces via percussive impact. K Karatty: Skillful fleet-footed fighting technique involving kicks, twists and leaps used by smaller rats during fights with big alpha thugs. L Lashybug: Small dark delicate hairy insect that is irresistible to rats, commonly found fluttering around human eyes. Literatty: Rats who like to chew scholarly or intellectually challenging books. M Madaptation: The remarkable ability of rats to change their daily schedule so that they are rampantly playful when their humans are sleepy. Manxious: Overly worried that your new litter might not have tails. Masokisstic: Said of a person who indulges in the irresistible pleasure of kissing rat bellies despite having resulting horrific allergic reactions to their fur. Marinating: The act of sleeping in one's pee soaked bedding Meducation: The end result of the many devious machinations required to get the rat on the outside of his meds. Also describes the remarkable and rapid learning by rat owners of the large array of drug uses and dosages for rats. NEW! Meep / Meeping / Meeper: The plaintive sound (usually in a whining tone) that a rat emits when being power groomed, shoved about, or otherwise unfairly picked on. In ratspeak "meep" is a shortened form of "Me Poor!" (or "Poor Me!"). Thus a "meeper" is a rat who meeps excessively. Metamorfuzzus: A conditional response to spending too much time with one's rats, which results in the gradual transformation from human to more rat-like tendencies. e.g. stealing food out of other people's mouths, bruxing during romantic moments with your partner, and peeing on the sofa. Mischief maker (a.k.a. Breeder): A person who deliberately amasses large numbers of rodents with the express purpose of distributing them to as many people as possible. Moodging: An aussie slang term for holding your rat in both hands facing you and moving your fingers in a circular motion to massage them. Mycophobia: An intense and irrational fear experienced by all rat owners at the first sign of a sneeze. N Nasal Spelunking: A recreational pursuit for rats who are skilled in facial cavity exploration. New Rat Fever (NRF): A highly contagious and debilitating virus, often spread at rat shows. While medically incurable, sufferers are able to gain temporary relief by acquiring regular "hits" from unscrupulous ratlet peddlers. Newton's Law of Rodent Physics 1: The harder one tries to prevent a rat from gnawing, the more determined a rat will be to gnaw. Newton's Law of Rodent Physics 2: The volume of a nest box is equivalent to half the volume of the rats that are currently sleeping in it. Nimitations: Wannabe big bad alpha rats (after Nimbus, the biggest baddest buck in the business) Nipple-nipper: A rat with an unfortunate penchant for human mammary protrusions. O Omniratent: Having rats present in all parts of your house at all times. P Peasqueak: An insignificant or contemptible rat, outcast due to it's abnormal aversion to green peas. Peckerish: Said of a rat who has a hunger for nipping delicate human male body parts. Pednipology: The study of why rats love to bite socked toes. Peeseekery: The act of searching in darkness for rat whiz using high tech, state of the art black light equipment. Peeterrent: The unmistakable aroma of rat pee on your clothes that prevents non rat lovers from hitting on you. Pewtophile: A lover of white rats. Pissertive: Said of a rat owner who decidedly and confidently assumes the alpha role in their home by scent marking the cage and all the rats with their own urine (aka The Adamo Approach). Pocratsinaction: To put off doing important work due to the overwhelming distraction of poking your rats awake to play with them. Q Quid pro doe: The means by which male rats will do anything you ask in exchange for just one sniff of a girl rat. (see also Eau de Doe) R Rat Couture: Exclusively re-modelled high fashion attire and general decor for the discerning ratlover. Rat Room Netball: A skillful sport whereby you clean the rat cage, tidy up the room, and perform other important tasks with your feet firmly planted in the one position the entire time, so as not to squish free ranging rampant ratlets. Ratalyst: An as yet unidentified substance present on rat fur that promotes the lowering of human willpower so that more rats are easily and rapidly absorbed into the household. Rata-tatty: The point at which aeratted clothing can no longer be worn in public without legal repercussions. Ratatonic (or Ratatonia): That pitiful look rats get when they are someplace they don't want to be and just sit stock still in spooked stoney silence (vet, outdoors, one room away from the vacuum cleaner, etc.). Ratattoo: Scratches on your neck, arms and legs that indicate your membership to SORE (Society Of Rat Enthusiasts). Ratification: A formal approval from your partner that you can modify the house, furniture and appliances in any way necessary to provide a safe, fun environment for free ranging rats. Ratochistic: Said of one who derives pleasure from being scratched, peed on, enduring violent allergic reactions, picking up raisins, cleaning cages and spending all their money on rat food and vet bills. Ratriarchy: A form of social organisation in which rats hold all of the power (common in most pet rat households). Rattisphere: The small circle of friends who love your rats with which you socialise now that all your other old rat intolerant friends aren't welcome anymore. (See Intolerodent) Rattitude: The cheeky, clever and defiant air of confidence exuded by all rats. Rattorney: A rat able to weasel it's way out of damaging circumstances Rattus stalactitus: The rare species of rat that has a propensity to hang upside down from wire cage lids. Remarkable: The amazing way rats have to re-scent everything in the house over and over and over again. Rexpectation: The state of hoping for a few curly whiskers in your next litter. Rodentertainment: The joy and happiness you acquire from watching the comical and clever antics of your rats rather than television. Rodentist: A rat skilled in human teeth cleaning and oral hygiene. Rodentomontade: A long bragging speech where one boasts about the charm, cuteness and downright perfection of one's ratties. S Scentscape: The results of a rat's careful scent marking of his cage, getting all the different zones of the cage arranged in a delightful (to rats) scentsoria of odors. Scentinel / Scentry: A pee drop placed at the border of a rat's territory to guard their domain from rogue rodent invaders. SCUBRA: (Self Contained Under Blouse Rat Apparatus) A supportive undergarment worn by women for the express purpose of providing safe and comfortable shirt diving for their rats. Self restraint: Control imposed by oneself when one sees a tank full of solid coloured ratlets for adoption in the pet shop. Shredware: The high necked, long sleeved garments commonly worn by rat owners when playing with their rats. Smug sluggery: The act whereby a rat lazes with his head lolling over the edge of his hammock, wearing a smugly contented expression. Snottoisseur: A rat who has special skills in the gourmet art of used tissue eating. Sofamorphism: The incredible ability of all rats to squish themselves into any shape in order to fit behind/inside large immovable furniture and household appliances. Squat: Repetitive leg exercise performed by rat owners who wish to sit on their sofa, despite their rats' considering it their own personal territory. Squirmish: A rambunctious fight for position on a lap involving more rats than the owner has hands for scritching. Squish: A rat known for it's large soft cuddly form, which tends to go all limp and pliable when scritched. (See Ramekin The Squish) Stashism: Political belief that all extra food and miscellaneous items should be stored for later use. Stat!ic cling: The invisible attraction that draws and holds male rats to any item that female rats have touched. (see also Eau de Doe) This term evolved after I needed a crowbar to lever Stat! off my lap after I'd played with some girl rats. Stynchronisation: The amazing coincidence that visitors always manage to drop in unannounced just before cage cleaning day when the whole house reeks of rat pee. Suffosafe: The amazing ability of rats to breathe sufficient oxygen despite being on the bottom of a huge rat pile-up in the hammock. T The Badlands: Anywhere in your home that is out of bounds to rats (because they do bad things there) that they therefore spend all their free range time trying to sneak into. Tomfooffery: Rats who are horsing around, and unrepentant in their silly behaviour. (see also Fooffery) Treatise: A written document that states all owners are required by law to offer at least one yogurt drop per rat per day. Treatoscopic: Describes rat eye-sight that, despite being generally poor, is somehow able to locate a treat you aren't sharing from 50 paces. TwoRattes Syndrome: The involuntary utterance of a string of expletives, usually found to occur when attempting to place a pair of rodents safely into a single cage after free-range time. U Understudly: A rat who aspires to be alpha. V Vampire Rat: A rat who will not show up on photographic film, despite being in centre frame and in-focus moments before shutter release. Vermen: Those wonderful rare human males who love rats. They often accept being second best in their partners affections (after the rats, of course), and cheerfully offer their hard earned cash to pay for and/or build every whim their rats might want or need. W Whizard: A rat who manages to pee in the most unexpected places. Wildefuzz: An endearing term to describe any wild rodent. X Xenofaecalurker: A foreign, unidentifiable object found in your rat's raisin that you have no idea where it came from or how it got there. Y Yellow-belly: A rat too cowardly to admit he's been marinating in his own pee. Z Zoomerang: A rat who dashes out and about but periodically homes in on mom or dad to make sure everything's okay. please leave me a star left of interesting im 14, but i am going to be in the animal feild its all i want to do exspacially rodents! oh yeah this is from dapper.com

Is this any good?/novel? BETTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW Chapter 1 Wow, that was some story thought Joan as she placed the paperback onto the coffee table. The novel, Chick Lit, was not really intended for her age group, mid sixties, but she’d thoroughly enjoyed it, and why not? The elderly were just teenagers in old skin. Joan sat back on the shiny, leather sofa and sipped her coffee. Sparked off by the contents of the book, she reflected on the fifty years she deemed wasted on two dead leg husbands. Jeez, that’s half a century! The first, fat, flawed and futile, the second and current one, well, yes, the second and current one… She lit a cigarette, drew heavily on it and made her mind up there and then that she was going to get a life, not just any old life, a young life, a sort of Chick Lit life, a life she’d missed out on all those years ago. Three kids before ones twenty first birthday had been far from a good starting point. Joan hadn’t been in love with him but a sexual ‘experiment’ had led to an unwanted pregnancy and society at that time made sure there were to be no single mothers. A man-child for a so called husband and an even worse mother-in-law, the type you could gladly drop into an acid bath so all trace had gone, well except for dentures. She glanced at the calendar and pondered on a date from when her new life should begin. But where to begin? Botox, Crystal-blast, Face-lift? I need something. It’s ok to think chick but when your skin thinks hen…there’s more lines on it than a Rhode Island road map. Dvorak’s Humoresque belted out from the phone and penetrated Joan’s thoughts. ‘Help the aged,’ she answered. ‘Hi, it’s me.’ ‘Jules! I was going to ring you but I thought you’d still be zedding it. How’d it go?’ Joan perked up at the sound of her best friend’s voice, and then realised, that her voice sounded wary. ‘You’re not going to like this Joan, are you sitting comfortably?’ For Jules to say that, the news had to be big. Joan leant against the arm of a chair. ‘Go on, what happened?’ ‘She’s blonde, tubby… and wait for it…about twenty five years old.’ Joan was silent for a moment. So it was true beyond a doubt, Pete had a bit on the side. She slid down the arm of the chair to the seat. Maybe Jules had seen the evidence, but Joan herself hadn’t. ‘Get her address?’ ‘Yeah, rough district, look, I’ll come across and we can chat at length. Ok?’ Joan replaced the receiver and went to the drinks cabinet. At least she’s fat. She mused. Selecting the most expensive red, she uncorked it and poured a large, no, a very large glass. Her friend liked red too, as she always said, ‘at our age it’s good for the old arteries.’ Jules arrived in her brand new Smart car; it had made a good disguise the previous evening for tracking Peter, Joan’s husband. ‘I suspected some time ago he was playing around Jules, although, really I can’t imagine who’d fancy a clapped out eighty two year old. He’s recently invested in some new Y-fronts too, what sort of woman shags a man who wears Y-Fronts? The mind boggles.’ The second bottle of red was having a pleasant couldn’t-care-less attitude on Joan’s grey matter. She giggled along with Jules imagining Pete getting his leg over. ‘Perhaps he makes a better sugar-granddaddy than a sugar-daddy,’ she laughed. For all the mirth, Jules could see a deep sadness behind her friend’s eyes. Pals from school days they’d stuck together over the years. They’d become more like sisters than their own sisters. ‘This isn’t the first woman Pete’s shagged but this time I want facts, enough’s enough. besides, this new sex-on-legs-cow’s had a profound effect on him.’ Basically a kind person, in recent years he’d become retaliative, sarcastic and decidedly cold in his manner towards her. ‘In the early years my ‘fiery’ nature turned him on and he even admitted that to this end he sometimes goaded me! What really bugs me as well, he used to love the way I flounced off when we rowed, he loved watching my long, dark hair swinging about. Now, he says I’m aggressive or I need anger therapy, cheeky sod, he obviously thinks silver hair isn’t good enough for him. Jeez, he doesn’t even have looks. Mind you, he has some charm and a good sense of humour.’ ‘Joan, you’re getting morose, have another glass.’ Jules uncorked another bottle. ‘The only saving grace in all this is that he’s fifteen years older then you.’ ‘And?’ ‘Well, odds are that he’ll die before you.’ Joan held her head back and laughed, it was a long drawn out belly-laugh. ‘Don’t make me laugh; he’s like a fucking robot. Do you know the only thing wrong with him is that he’s got a corn?’ She laughed out loud again then gulped her wine. She became morose again. ‘Do you know what the experts say in the scientific world? They say if one is fit by the age of eighty, there’s no reason, as to why one won’t reach ninety.’ She began to sob. ‘I can’t go another shite decade with him’ ‘The booze is making you miserable Joan. You know, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, being a widow. Ones income’s halved for starters.’ ‘You’re right, I’m always bloody moaning, aren’t I? The only thing is, in ten years time, I don’t want to be sitting here wishing I’d got a life, and just crocheting antimacassars. Anyway what do you think of this idea?’ Joan lit yet another fag. ‘Let’s have a bite to eat and a nice black coffee first, don’t forget I have to drive home.’ ‘Good idea.’ She glanced at the clock, ‘Pete’ll be at least another hour yet.’ Whilst they both tucked in to ham sandwiches and sipped black coffee, Joan explained a few ideas she’d come up with to enhance both hers and Jules’ lives. Her friend listened intently, eyes widening from time to time. ‘I’ll get back home now and I promise that I’ll have a good think about what we’ve discussed.’ The two women bade their goodbyes and Jules drove off, back to her bungalow a few miles away. Joan tidied up the lounge then washed the dishes. She liked everything to be neat and tidy. The bungalow was a new build when they had bought it. Three bedrooms, a large lounge, the kitchen wasn’t small either. The gardens front, back and side were extensive and over the years the many plants and shrubs they had planted together now gave the garden a colourful, mature look. Joan’s favourite spot was where the swing seat was positioned. Under a pagoda, covered with purple and white Clematis, it gave shelter from the hottest sun and a peaceful haven away from neighbours prying eyes. She was proud of her achievements for someone stemming from a childhood of poverty; you’ve not done bad lass. She often told herself. She heard Pete coming in after his visit to his daughter’s, well, after his night of passion rather. ‘Hi,’ she greeted him all smiles. ‘Hi,’ was his response. ‘Have a nice evening?’ She continued dusting the furniture, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. ‘Oh, it was ok, she wasn’t well enough to make us a meal so I went out for a take-away.’ Oh, yeah, a blonde-tubby-about-twenty-five-year-old one, she wanted to say but desisted. ‘When she feels better, she wants me to take her to her old school friend’s for a weekend, she lives in Newcastle.’ ‘That’ll be nice for you both,’ said with just a tad of sarcasm. ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ Pete side glanced at Joan and waited for her reaction. ‘Who? Me? I’ve never restricted your movements, of course I don’t mind.’ Great stuff, she thought, now my plans can come into being, how could he moan about me travelling now? Ha. She laughed to herself, some men are so stupid. Pete went off into his study, no doubt reliving the night of passion he’d had with his lover and dreaming about the forthcoming weekend with the slag. Joan continued with the housework whilst plotting her new life, well, he was being economical with the truth and what’s good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander, but in this case surely that should be what’s good enough for the gander is good enough for the goose. Who wrote these proverbs? Dvorak’s Humoresque rang out. ‘Orphaned widows,’ she answered. It was her friend Mo, crying down the phone, should she get a divorce from her lying, cheating husband. Jeez, that’s all I need. Why can’t others deal with their own nightmares? I’ve got plenty of my own to be going on with thanks. Mo’d found a packet of condoms again in the pocket of his best suit. Think yourself lucky he’s got the sense to use ‘em, she wanted to say but thought it too cruel. The husband in question was six feet four, drop-dead-gorgeous and had women just drooling and dropping at his feet. Joan had wondered how long it’d be before he strayed when he took Mo to the registrars…well, it was her third marriage, (church was out of the question) but at least the ceremonies had been that close together, Joan had been able to wear the same outfit for each one. ‘Best not to worry Mo, why don’t you go out and go mad with his credit card.? That’s good therapy.’ ‘You’re right Joan; I’ve seen a gorgeous leather coat and boots I like.’ ‘Good, hurt his pocket. I’ll see you next week then.’ Joan replaced the receiver. Women just can’t win. Here’s an ugly old fool shagging around and there’s a handsome young fool doing the very same. Or was it the women? Why do women shag others husbands? Sex with Pete that night was as boring as ever even though she suspected he was practicing various methods to try when screwing his tart. Besides Joan had other things on her mind, she had dinner to cook tomorrow for four friends…vegetarian friends. What the hell can I make? Pete turned her over. Perhaps a Soya spag bol could be the answer. Where to get Soya though? Pete’s hand was wandering. I could get some humus and tortillas, yes, that’d be nice as a starter. Pete was reaching his climax now. Jeez, planning dinner for four is damned harder than having sex. The following evening, Joan served up the spaghetti bolognaise. It had been simple to make and she was most impressed with the taste of the Soya meat. Pete poured out the wine for their friends. Joan had a head start on the others; she’d partaken of a few glasses whilst preparing dinner. The strange mixture of characters seated themselves at the table. Sebastian and wife Isabel, not their real names but they liked the sound of them. Both retired civil servants they were quite boring and staid. Joan had thought long ago that their real names were probably Cyril and Ethel or the likes. John and Anne, real names, he was great fun and an extravert, how he came to be married to her was always a mystery to Joan. He was still quite shaggable. John was a lawyer; she was a barmaid when they met. She sure knew what she was doing having got pregnant a couple of weeks later. They had more money than sense. Nevertheless, they were good fun and Joan liked them both, she sat with her guests. ‘Help yourselves to Parmesan and get stuck in.’ ‘So, what are your plans for this summer, each and all?’ asked John. ‘Jules and me are going for a month to a nudist complex in Jamaica,’ she blurted out. The others didn’t know whether to believe her and reacted with guffaws. ‘I’m serious. Then we plan on going to Bali for a further month, lots of nightlife there apparently.’ ‘I’ve always wanted to try nudism,’ offered Sebastian. ‘You’ve never mentioned that.’ Isabel looked horrified. Joan viewed Seb from the corner of her eye, hmm, more to him than he lets on. Dark Horse, eh? ‘When was all this arranged then?’ Pete’s eyes flared. Oh here we go; there’ll be a few days of sulky silence now, the cheeky two-timing bastard, don’t get mad…get everything Joan, she smiled back at him. ‘Oh, it’s not been arranged yet, me and Jules were just talking about it, when you were at your…’ ‘I would never go anywhere without John.’ Anne butted in. Joan sipped her wine and eyed up John this time, I bet you wouldn’t, now if my husband was as gorgeous as him…..’More garlic bread anyone?’ ‘Why don’t we all go to Jamaica?’ John took the proffered bread. ‘Sounds great fun.’ Joan bit into a chunk of bread, yeah, right; your wife’d look gorgeous nude….not. Anne was at least eighteen stones but only five feet two. She’d had a weight problem as long as Joan could think back, well a stuffing-your-face-with-food problem more like. She had a copycat problem too, constantly clocking the clothes Joan wore and racing down to the shops to buy duplicates. This amused Joan greatly and took it as a compliment. Sometimes and just for devilment, she would tell Anne a different shop to where she’d bought her clobber and watch her friend’s frustration when she couldn’t find replicas. Even if she did, there was no way they ever looked as good on her as on the five feet ten, slender Joan. ‘I need a facelift or something before I travel, either of you tried that crystal-blasting treatment?’ Anne looked indignant, ‘My skin doesn’t need any treatment whatsoever, and I haven’t even got any wrinkles yet.’ Oh yes you do, it’s just that the fat puffs your face out, wrinkles with it. Joan smirked to herself. Lose ten stone and your skin’d look like a bloody pachyderm’s. ‘Yes, you have beautiful skin,’ commented Isabel. ‘For her age,’ quipped John at which Anne’s face became decidedly ugly. John’s and Joan’s eyes met, she quickly looked away and bit on a gherkin to stop her bursting into laughter. That would have been the end of her and Anne. The trouble with Anne was that if she wasn’t the centre of attraction, she wasn’t playing but this sort of attention wasn’t the type intended. Joan waited for her to explode and wasn’t disappointed. ‘You’re a shit a friggin’ shit. Do you know that?’ Isabel blushed to the roots of her hair and chomped on a gherkin. These gherkins were coming in handy. Seb looked at his watch. John didn’t react; he was as used to these outbursts as were the hosts. There were a few moments silence. ‘We’re going to the Festival Hall next weekend,’ announced Seb. ‘What’s on?’ Pete asked. ‘A Beethoven concert, it should be excellent.’ ‘Indeed,’ said John. A conversation about the classics ensued. Anne went into a sulk but Joan was accustomed to that and knew that she would soon ‘come round’. Apart from the one fracas the evening went well and it was three am before the guests left. John had still seemed keen on the nudist holiday, as did Seb but Joan didn’t want any hangers-on, not at the launch of her new life. Pete’s hands began to wander. Oh, no, puh-lease not at this time in the morning, does he never stop it? This time there was no dinner for four to plan so she lay back and thought of her session at the gym and pool the next day. The four friends relaxed in the Jacuzzi, a white wine each. This was their time to be together once a week; an hour in the gym followed by forty lengths in the pool and then a dip into the hot bubbling water for a natter. Privately owned the complex was luxurious never crowded and suited the quartet perfectly. Anne was still reeling from the night before, ‘I’m going to really go mad with the credit card now,’ she sipped her wine. ‘Not another Prada bag, how many’s that you’ve got?’ asked Brenda. ‘Do I give a shit? I’ll buy matching shoes an’ all.’ ‘He was only joking Anne,’ said Joan. ‘Yeah, well I’m teaching him not to give sly digs even in jest.’ ‘Why, what did he say?’ Brenda leaned forward; she liked nothing better than a bit of gossip and others’ disharmony with one another. ‘He implied that I looked alright for my age.’ Jules glanced at Joan and they both smirked. Anne lacked self esteem and they all recognised this, it did get tiresome sometimes though, always trying to reassure her that she was a loved and treasured friend. She had more clothes in her possession than the whole of Debenham’s put together, or should that be Christian Dior or the likes, only exclusive stuff was good enough for Anne. ‘Have you seen Newbloom’s new range?’ asked Brenda enthusiastically. ‘They’ve got some gorgeous tops in.’ ‘I haven’t been in recently,’ replied Joan. Newbloom wasn’t her style but did agree that the stuff was enough to pay for fashion items that were out of style within weeks. Brenda didn’t look nice in anything, at sixty four, she’d no fashion sense but none of the others had the heart to tell her. Today she’d mixed a trendy top with a 1970s skirt, and a pair of 1980s shoes. The top as usual was way too young for her and bordered on the ridiculous, she preferred sleeveless too and Joan thought there was nothing worse than having wrinkled old arms on display. Brenda and husband were vastly rich and so she got away with any look according to her, and not giving a damn for what anyone thought. ‘Anyway, I’m more interested in face treatment at the mo,’ said Joan. ‘A friend of mine has just had that…that…er, is it crystal-blasting or something?’ ‘Round here, Brenda?’ Joan was keen to find out. ‘No, in London somewhere.’ ‘Fancy a trip to London Jules?’ Joan and her friend chuckled. ‘I’m up for anything these days,’ she replied. ‘I’ll come with you an’ all.’ ‘You said last night that you’d never go anywhere without John.’ ‘I know but that were last night and I’d had a few jars,’ Anne sipped her wine. ‘Any road, I’ll be able to shop at Harrods, that’ll piss him off.’ The four left the complex and went to the nearby pub for lunch and to discuss their plans for a weekend in London. Mysteris...don't you ever read books????????!!!!!!!!!!

Which personality might appeal as friend/partner ? A/ Intelligent, creative, intensely practical or B/ Wise, capable, "bring home the bacon". My choice could best be summed up in the words of the old song.... Twas on a monday morning When I first saw my darling, She looked so neat and charming in every high degree. She looked so neat and nimble-o Creating all our furniture-o Dashing away with a smoothing plane, dashing away with a smoothing plane She stole..................my heart away. Of course there were spokeshaves, countersinks, mallets etc but they wouldn't fit in the verse. Perhaps you have very different ideas. love to hear them. Best wishes, Rose P. Dear Madame Riverotter, There are 8 women in my hens club and I can regard each one with equal joy. No-one really close though. TTFN, Rose.

Doggy Poem? Hello, I wrote this for my Doberman about a month before his second year birthday. Now He's almost three! He's come down alot since this past year and we are closer than ever. Anyway his birth is coming up so I thought I share this poem and didcated every dog owner here who's lucky enough to have that special friend(s). My Jerry baby is almost two years old, he's handsome, robust, and way outta control! Shining black coat with deep brown eyes, he love to chase the neighbors and butterflies! Jerry like to eat my best friend's shoes, plus the furniture, pillow, or whatever he choose! He would follow me up and down all day, where I sleep, that's his bed! Sometimes I would take Jerry out for a walk, people that saw us would shout "What a magnificent dog!" Little do they know he's spoiled and well fed, charming on the outside with a mischivous head! Jerry is the burden of my love and a comforting shore, Without him, I'd be long gone I'm sure.

Do you know and have all this?? A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .one old love she can imagine going back to.. and one who reminds her how far she has come... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a youth she's content to leave behind... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .a set of screwdrivers, cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .a feeling of control over her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW. .how to fall in love without losing herself... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship... and how to change a tyre!!!!!!! EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... .when to try harder... and when to walk away... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... .that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... .what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... .whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... .where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day.. a month...and a year...

Cheating/Many Lies = Beyound Repair? Ok, constructive comments only please - certain level of maturity required :) this is long. In short, been having problems with my live-in B/F of 4.5 yrs. I want to preface this with the fact that outside this issue all else is peachy and we match really well/have a great time/always together/similar minded/connected, etc. About a year ago, I found out that since we were together, he'd spend some time on myspace (hi5, friendster, name it) and had like 133 friends/chicks on it (mostly 18-20 yr olds); which all of them he claimed he never met. Of course, no mention of me or being in a LTR in his profiles. Later I found out he asked at least one girl for lunch (she didn't jump though), and brought at least two home on different occasions (my b/f took like 200 of naked (not the artistic kind either) pics of them, but yet says he didn't hook up with either one. There was also a few of weird emails like replying to Craisglsit NSA type personals, etc, over a course of 4 years (he used to work from home before so if anything went on before 7pm, I wouldn't know). This totally bugged me and we fought over it (i.e, I'd cry and he'd get ticked off and say "it's nothing", etc). Tired of such crap, I left for a short vacation (alone), to clear my head, have some fun, nothing more. And that I did; met a bunch of people including some guy I kept in touch via phone/email for about 2 weeks after my trip. Nothing happened, just some flirty conversations (which was wrong on my part, but I am vindictive). I know I was wrong to even go that far. My B/F was furious though (apparently, what was OK for him to do, was not for me) when he saw the emails, we had a falling out; made up, I stopped communication with this dude, etc. Shortly after though, I emailed spoke with this 18 yr old chick he went after on myspace, and brought home for the so-called "photoshoot" (the last one happened 3 months ago) while I was away. She said he tried to "do" her after a lap dance she gave, and they had a fight over that, the end. I confront him - no drama, mind you - I'm too shocked to even cry, just calmly tell him I want out of this sh*t ASAP. He swears and begs and cries for a few hrs and makes me stay. Obviously, all his profiles come down and he promises not to ever pull any remotely similar stunts. Conveniently, at that time - he buys me the ring and we're consumed with it for a while. (He never wanted to hear about marriage or this type of stuff before). The ring goes back (we saw a better style) and he decided to postpone the purchase, which is fine with me. He is starting a new business and our *next step* is just not a priority (nor do I think it will ever be, in fairness partly due to stuff beyond his control). Yet, somehow we work things out (or so it seemed), and we did have a great month together. I thought I put this sh*t behind us, or rather tried to tell myself I did. Obviously not. I can't seem to get past it. Am I crazy for even trying?? Is it even possible considering our history? Yet again, there has been so many great times... I don't want to bring this up again to my b/f as he'd just probably get mad. All that from a guy who says he loves me, and I do believe that, as he treats me so well and even lets me drive his car :) I do love him also (seriously). I'm not a prude, I can understand attraction and flirting (which he also has no problem doing in front of me), but maybe this is a bit much. He is a good father (the man is 40, I'm 31) to his 2 teen live-away kids from prior marriage, a hard worker and a very responsible, smart, educated, articulate, charming guy. Everybody loves him, including my parents. So it's not like I ask for advice from people I know. Here is my question; obviously he lied before, but is there any chance he may be telling the truth when he says he won't cheat/do any weird crap to jeopardize our relationship? He says it's "different now", since there was a talk of ring and possibly marriage in remote future. I'm some whiny nagging type, btw (nor I am into babies and minivans and white fences), I like sports, I'm in awesome shape, typical attractive eastern euro girl, make my own money, can cook, no real baggage/kids/crazy family. So it ticks me off that I was treated this way (albeit behind my back). This is the first guy I genuinely cared for. This type behavior, does that mean my b/f never wanted anything serious - since he was always willing to risk our relationship... like continuing with his sh*t after getting caught first time/lying? Thus, he'll be likely to do it again? Frankly, I'm tired of "what ifs" swirling in my head for the past few years. He still claims he never physically cheated on me and all this bizarre crap was *to boost his ego*, *curiosity*, whatever. Is this the type of stuff to expect in any LTR? In such case, I may never want one. I am an extremely loyal person and expect nothing but the same in return. There are good days and bad days, and I hide bad days from my B/F (or I try my best). Silly stuff triggers the worst memories lately. He is really busy with work now and I don't want to bother him with my whining again. I did realize I need to make a decision (once and for all), when my friend was showing me some furniture website on her Myspace page (I don't have one) and I almost bit through my lip just so to fight tears back. I want to fix it but don't know how.

A Woman Should Have? A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a youth she's content to leave behind.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... a feeling of control over her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder…and when to walk away... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year... --Maya Angelou

Can you check this composition (mistakes and style) please? “A good book only needs an exciting story. The characters are not important. Do you agree?” Write a composition making reference to a book you’ve read. Can just an exciting story make a book beautiful? Personally I don’t think so. A good story, without some important characters, is like a house without the furniture: incomplete. In my opinion, the characters are so important because all people, while they are reading, try to “live” the story of the book by the protagonists’ perspective. Just let me do an example: the famous book “Harry Potter” has surely got an exciting story: a magical world is threatened by an evil wizard who wants to become immortal. But the principal character, Harry, is very important: do you really think that every kid in the word would read a book with the same story of “Harry Potter” if the main character would be an old boring man? In conclusion, I think that a good book needs, beside of a wonderful story, some important and charming characters too.

Can you check this composition (mistakes and style) please? “A good book only needs an exciting story. The characters are not important. Do you agree?” Write a composition making reference to a book you’ve read. Can just an exciting story make a book beautiful? Personally I don’t think so. A good story, without some important characters, is like a house without the furniture: incomplete. In my opinion, the characters are so important because all people, while they are reading, try to “live” the story of the book by the protagonists’ perspective. Just let me do an example: the famous book “Harry Potter” has surely got an exciting story: a magical world is threatened by an evil wizard who wants to become immortal. But the principal character, Harry, is very important: do you really think that every kid in the word would read a book with the same story of “Harry Potter” if the main character would be an old boring man? In conclusion, I think that a good book needs, beside of a wonderful story, some important and charming characters too.